What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Randomize
