My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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