so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
