i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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