You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
