He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Randomize
