Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
