why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
