At least make sure they are 18
Why
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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