I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
Randomize
