you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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