I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
