Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
