Pappa wants mamma naked
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
