Christians are straight up FREAKS
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
