when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
