problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
