Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
