THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
we made out on top of his cat.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
