oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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