Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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