in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
