i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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