3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Randomize
