if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
