I cockslap morals
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize
