I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
