If that was your dad, he is hot
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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