yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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