i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
