What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
