im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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