Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
