She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
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