You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
