umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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