it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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