At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
