Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
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