is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
