Just took my morning after pill in the library
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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