well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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