I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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