you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
