some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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