It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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