We're facebook friends in real life
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
