i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
