i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Text me some of your sweat
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
