I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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