yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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