brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
