now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
